It was an unseasonably warm day and I just received my zombie insurance policy in the mail: a Windlass Steelcrafts Fiore warhammer, so it was time to put both to good use!
The sacred regulations tell of the time of obscenity. When profligates brought forth black blood from the depths of hell! And with it set fire to the heavens so that the globe would grow warm such that their nakedness could be uncovered and their disgrace could be seen!
And Gaia looked upon the earth and beheld that indecent flesh had corrupted her climate. And She brought a flood of waters upon the earth, to destroy all indecent flesh!
The Mother chose us Feudal Climate Censors, the FCC to judge the indecent and smite them with the three-pronged gavel of censoring! You have donned the Garb of Warning and with this hammer I Knight thee Sir Cumcision!
Now take thine hammer and arise Sir Knight of Standards and Practices! The profligates who do not heed The Warning shall bleed under thine hammer!
Ah, what a nice warm day in January! Feels great to commune with nature in a natural state!
Heed my Warning, profligate or die in your disrobed disgrace!
Holy crap, what the actual?!!!
You can’t block with your cock! I’m gonna get medieval on your buttocks!